drive on

"How are you doing since retiring? We miss you."

Truth is, I miss you too. I miss ME, I miss IT.  I miss all that I've known, and still wrapping my brain around it.

What if you had to stop doing what you loved? What if it ended, cold turkey, before you could blink or consider? Months on end.  Take it away, take away your loves. Take them away when you least expect it. How do feel? How do you respond? How do you THINK you'd respond? And do you accept it? It's hard to imagine, probably. And likely, it's probably hard to understand.

How am I? I am on the roller coaster of denial, anger, frustration, optimism, frequent but lessening pain, redirecting, relearning, physical strengthening, and focusing on long-term health and wellness, considering options. Repeat all that about three times and that's a typical day in my world, at this moment. It feels topsy-turvy, trying to reorient while all the every day normal things of life drive on. Drive on, we must.

I'm in the in-between, that's how I am. It'll get better, and I'll figure this out.